great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
