I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize