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He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
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