You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
