marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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