You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
