I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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