i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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