Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
