WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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