i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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