Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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