I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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