I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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