Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
