Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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