____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
