I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
