The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize