All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
