Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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