I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
