Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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