I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
