I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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