Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
