I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
