im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
