I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
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Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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