Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
