Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
