just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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