I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize