I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
