hotel room ftw
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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