fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
