She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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