What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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