her vagine was all disorganized.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
