you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
