Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize