i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
