How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
