so that wasnt chicken after all
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
