I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize