he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize