i just wanna soil my oats bro
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
