Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
NoShamevember. You game?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
