i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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