he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I love you.
Bad choice
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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