He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
