I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize