As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
