then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
True strength comes from lack of pants
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
