i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it because I queefed?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
