and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
