so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
