We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
