I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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