True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize