I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He better not be in your backpack
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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