Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
