Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
